This last week, my husband and I made a move to our first house. Prior to this we were living in a one bedroom apartment over-looking a gorgeous dying lilac tree. Needless to say, we're uber excited. There's just so much room for activities (I love you, random citizen that caught that reference). To be honest, our new home isn't anything that would qualify for the great E.U.P. Tour of Homes. I'm actually not sure if that's a thing, but if it is, we aren't invited. The bathroom's cozy and the washing machine is next to the sink. Quite handy for setting dirty dishes on actually. But I'm not complaining! I used to have to sit on the floor in the kitchen while I mixed things due to the lack of space. And before that I lived in a one room apartment that had....a bedroom and bathroom. Literally. My bed was next to the fridge was next to the bathroom and that was it. Other than the bulk boxes of Ramen.
Nursing school can be a heartless, money-grubbing mistress.
But I digress. The point is that Chris and I are ecstatic to be in our new home! And we're still learning some lessons about being content.
The other night, I was watching a certain TV show that seems to tax every programmed contentment setting in one's entire body.
I may or may not have been watching a certain TV show that is essentially pinterest on cable- exclusively for homes.
Oh! You know the one? Yes, yes. House Hunters it was. I actually think it was House Hunters International. The show of bickering couples and angelic realtors who certainly must be getting extra celestial jewels for their abilities to bite their tongues. It was about midway through the episode that I realized how fantastically fantastic my monologue was...and how annoyed Chris must have been hearing me enthusiastically carrying on a conversation with the TV. But let's face it, I've heard the same comments from anyone who has ever watched this show.
The following is essentially the narrative that goes on between myself and myself at this point.
"What's wrong with the place you live? Good grief, woman! Get ahold of yourself. You want to move to Czeckocroamyaslovastan? Bahhaaha! Preposterous....oh. You can buy a four bedroom house there for $30,000....with THAT view?! Babe! BABE! We're moving. Let's google this magical kingdom!. ...oh, never mind. They still believe in stoning."
"Good golly. How did these two ever end up together....how did they end up married? .....I really believe this episode will end in divorce.....or possibly murder....ok. There is no question at all here. She is definitely borderline. Just once, just once, Realtor Agent, tell them to suck it and grow up! Four sinks in the bathroom really isn't necessary."
"They really think they're getting all 72 items on their wishlist on that budget? Oh, darlings."
"No. Way. They want granite and hardwood floors? Shocking. Absolutely shocking." *Much rolling of the eyes*
"They want a sauna, an indoor olympic-sized pool, 22 bedrooms, and a backyard cathedral on that budget? Hahaha! Let the tears and sniffles begin, losers.
"That house is so freaking ugly. What do you mean you think it's homey? Are you blind, sir?"
"What do you mean you think that house is ugly? Are you daft, woman?"
"What do you mean it needs updated?! You mean the Kitchen Aid is last year's model?"
"WHY DO YOU NEED THAT MUCH SPACE?! YOU HAVE NO CHILDREN AND YOUR DOG'S THE SIZE OF A FEMALE CHIPMUNK!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CLOSET IS TOO SMALL?! I could house a pony in that sucker! Why do you need that much closet space?!....oh....dang, that's actually a really nice closet."
"What do you mean you don't want to take care of that much lawn? You could cut and groom it nicely in ten minutes with a scissors and a hair comb!! You, sir, are a lazy fool."
"What do you meant the bedroom's too small?! I could fit my house and garage in the walk-in close alone!"
"Oh, yes. Turn up your nose at House #2 because the trim in the basement is eggshell instead of cream. Cuz NO ONE can PAINT."
"Yes, yes, over-look House #3 because the basement isn't finished, and there's NO WAY you can fit all your crap in the 750,000 sq. ft. upstairs! Imbeciles."
"Ewwww.....ok, I agree. I'm totally against popcorn ceilings. We should start a campaign against popcorn ceilings....we should make popcorn. I wish I'd thought of this sooner."
"I hope they don't buy House #2 cuz I'm totally gonna buy that bad boy if they don't."
"I'll bet you money they buy House #1."
"What?....no, no, nonono, NO! They can't buy that one!! What are they thinking!! The other one had stainless steel appliances!! NOOOO!! Idiots! Morons! I can't handle this right now. I just can't....shut it off, shutitoff!"
".....ok.....maybe one more. But first, popcorn."
So, this reveals several things. First of all, I occasionally watch House Hunters with the same amount of gusto that I would a regular season football game. Also, these incompetent people clearly need my wisdom in what would best fit their lifestyle. And lastly....it's easy to get caught up in the latest and greatest. The misguided desire for a house with all the bells and whistles. A glistening, sparkling masterpiece that will turn heads and spark envy.
But truly, at the end of the week, when I stood in our new home with a garage out back and our wedding picture hung just inside the door, I couldn't stop smiling and thinking, "I have more than I need. I don't need a pony living in the bedroom. I'm blessed beyond measure."
And that's what it's all about.
I'm learning that the key to a joyful life is being content in whatever situation we find ourselves in. Of course it might be better...but it could always be worse. And I'm thankful for every stage of life I've been given. From the one room, 50 square foot apartment I had in school to the three bedroom home I now share with my husband. Every stage prepares us for the next.
Now if you'll help me spread the word, I'm trying to market myself as a realtor purchasing consultant. Please share this blog link to help me spread the word.