"Kate and Prince William plan August vacation!" "Another Baby on the Way!" "Prince William Sues Rogaine Company."
My heart skips a beat with joy as I stand in line at Walmart with my package of all-American hot dogs and coffee. The headlines seize my attention and makes me want to break out in "God Save the Queen." Beef-eaters unite!
And then suddenly I remember, "Oh yeah. We won that war. I don't have to care anymore."
As happy as I am that another little royal baby is going to be born to soil more silken diapers, I couldn't help but wonder what America's obsession is with the royal family. Didn't we chuck their tea overboard so we wouldn't have to mark their summer vacations down on our calendars and send them baby gifts...I think that was why we did it... Anyways.
And then I started thinking about American fads in general. We are a nation that loves hype. The next big thing.
Why else when Kate and William were married did thousands of women and men (you know who you are) across America camp out in front of the TV and sip on Earl Grey whilst horking down scones. And for the next year, conversation across the nation was peppered with British accents. One obsession after one obsession.
Like...the World Cup exploding onto the scene. Maybe I've had my head under a rock for years, but this year it suddenly seemed like this was the biggest thing since the Revolutionary War. And as I have a tendency to bury my head under a rock, I was initially confused at the "Futbol" games going on and thought the NFL was having a special stretch of National Hispanic Month. Which further confused me because I knew football season didn't start for another 3 months, 2 weeks, 1 day, 3 hours, 9 minutes, and 12 seconds. I know my football. I always revel in inviting people to my Super Bowl party who say they just watch it "for the commercials." I frequently command those people to fetch me my guacamole.
Anyways, my husband explained what this current hype was all about when I came in the living room to find him watching said "Futbol" game. I said, "I say, good chap, what a hardy bunch of strapping fellows we have here. Pray tell, what color are we cheering for?" At which point he asked me if I had been reading about Kate Middleton again.
I informed him there would be some upsides to being part of the great, sovereign nation under the great Kate and Co. He dared me to come up with something and I actually came up with three things, thank you very much. We would all have sweet accents. We would have scones on a regular basis. And we could finally find out what crumpets are. To which he responded, our accents wouldn't be sweet because we'd hear them everyday. We'd sit around trying to mimic Canadian accents, which would be tragic. And donuts are better than crumpets and scones anyways. Also, we would have to watch Futbol rather than football.
So, in the end, weird fads and all, I'm glad America is America. Though I still find myself incredibly confused by the snuggie...