Asian Carp, Fairy Tales, and Gender Equality for All!!

    Ladies and Gentlemen, we are back, we are back. We apologize to all our loyal followers who were pining away in front of their screens for the last couple weeks. We had several technical issues. I was Laura Ingall-ing it for one week when we lost power due to a fantastic tornado that ripped through our neighborhood. At least, I'm fairly certain it was a tornado. I happened to be out running when this beast hit. I saw a young couple frantically waving me on towards safety and several mothers covering the eyes of their young children as I ran by their houses.
    No sooner did we get our power back than an invisible gremlin sneaked into the house and stomped on my computer creating this cool, artsy crack through the middle of the screen. However, my awesome husband came through and saved his technologically illiterate wife. So we are back online.

    I wasn't really sure what to write about this week so I took my precious, valuable time over to the single most inspiring source I have at my fingertips- Facebook.
    Well....not so much, but I did waste some time on Facebook and actually found the perfect topic.

    ASIAN CARP!

  

    Yes, Asian Carp. A newcomer to the geographical area that is taking over our lakes and waterways at a rapid pace. But behold, we can no longer refer to this little bugger of a fish as the Asian Carp. Nope. Nuh-uh.  We now have to refer to this fellow as the "Invasive Carp" thanks to a thoughtful politician in office. Because apparently referring to this guy in the adjective form of it's continent of ORIGIN is politically incorrect and offensive... And I threw my head back and laughed and laughed.
    I'm also suddenly nervous that I may be arrested shortly since I Google-imaged the above picture by searching for "Asian Carp." I'll keep you guys posted on my stint in jail. It might make and interesting blog post. Maybe I'll interview my cell mates...

    But back to the "invasive Carp" thing. Very well. I then move that we rename "Whitefish" to the "Caucasian Fish." I'm super offended that they would give it a name based off the obvious tones of it's flesh. I feel like that's a slur against me...somehow. I'm not sure how, but I'll figure it out and let you know. But why stop there! (This is so much fun.)

    German Shepherds. The audacity of some people! And I will slap in the face the next person who calls my dog a Siberian Husky. She's done nothing to deserve such a derogatory term. But why stop with animals.
    French toast.
    Belgian waffles.

    As long as we're lobbying for titles that won't offend, we should probably take a look at some of those beloved nursery rhymes and fairy tales we grew up with. You know...those ones that were supposed to inspire us to be better people.

    The Ugly Duckling. MER!! Hereafter shall be referred to as "The Aesthetically Challenged Little Duck."
    Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. "Melanin-Impoverished Caucasian and the Seven Little Males."
    Old Woman Who Lives in a Shoe. "Chronologically Gifted Female in a Residence of Footwear."

    Since they're also changing the name of the NFL team "Washington Redskins" to just "Washington" we should probably also look at calling the Dallas Cowboys the "Bovine Control Officers." (We'll leave out "Dallas" because apparently referring to something by it's geographical location of origin is offensive. We learned this important lesson from the carp.)

    I should sue every person who has ever referred to me as "short" and demand recompense as I am "vertically challenged."

    I understand the spirit in which political correctness began. I truly do. I am a woman (surprise!) and I'm married to a Native American. I don't believe we should have a society that promotes hate and intolerance. But too much of a good thing is not a good thing. And I believe we've taken our acceptance and tolerance a little too far. Our "tolerance" has become intolerance and what was originally meant to heal has actually begun to cause harm. A society that can suspend children from school for wearing their own nation's flag on their shirt is not a nation of tolerance. The system has gone full circle and we are a nation of intolerance in the name of justice.

    I'm a woman (feminism movement, anyone?) and I take issue with the fact that if I walked in for a job interview and the only other interviewer was male, I would be more likely to get the job so the company could meet their gender quota. They wouldn't look at the qualifications I have. Rather my gender. That is OFFENSIVE to ME. We live in a society that gives out ribbons for simply participating and lowers learning standards so no child feels offended. This is worrisome for our country's future. We have no backbone. No moxie. No acceptance of someone standing on their own two feet and saying, "Hey, this is what I believe. I don't say this to be hateful. It's just what. I. believe." We believe that "I disagree with you" means "I hate you." But they are not one and the same.
    Is it possible that our strides to make this world less racial, sexist, and more tolerant are backfiring and doing the exact opposite?
    How did we get here?

    We see both sides of the coin. But we would love to hear your viewpoint. Better yet, we would LOVE to hear your own "Politically Correct' terms. Throw some at us. Leave them in the comments section. Share us on Facebook. Thanks for reading, guys! Aaaaand go!
   
    Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go munch on some Cracker Jack....
    Pardon me. Caucasian Originated-as-Vegetation in a Box.


    -Corinna