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10 Things I Learned in my First Year of Marriage

11/8/2014

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    Last month Chris and I celebrated our one year anniversary! Yay!
    The last year flew by. And if I thought I loved this man at our wedding, I love him a million times more now.
    But there definitely was a lot of growing and learning as well. I learned some new things about our relationship. I also realized, after only a year of marriage, there are things I consciously have to remind myself to do. Things I did without thinking while we were dating take some reminders now. Here's ten things I learned in my first year of marriage.
So, second-year-anniversary-Corinna, and fifty-year-anniversary-Corinna, you will definitely know so much more than me. But maybe you can come back and look over this list... and see if maybe you started to forget a few of them.

1) Find your "talking place." The place that, when you're there, you start talking about anything and everything. This can be multiple places. For us, that's especially when we're driving in the car or laying in bed in the dark. Communication is crucial anytime, but there's times and places that it flows the easiest.

2) Keep doing the things you love for you. Not for your spouse. I know that sounds selfish, but maybe an example will help. I've always passionately loved writing. After I got married, I had to keep finding time to do some of the things I loved. And I learned something pretty cool. My husband loves when I'm passionate about things. He loves when I do the things I love. And I love when he does the things he loves. But we have to keep that passion going just for us and not feel like it's a chore in our busy schedule.

3) Keep friends around you. You aren't an island of two. Sometimes some of the greatest growing experiences I had with my husband in the last year is when we were in a group of people. We have several groups of friends we love spending time with. He says things to others that surprise me and I realize I didn't know about him before. And I fall in love with him all over again seeing him interact with others.

4) The minute you start thinking "I have him now" you get lazy. Treat him like you're still dating. You're still wooing each other. Date him!

5)
Don't eat early breakfast together. You both suck in the morning. Just enjoy his company when you're both awake. And caffeinated.

6) There will occasionally be a silent battle to see who will wash the dishes. He loves you. But the fight is on.

7) You will find out things you thought he loved about you while you were dating... he was just tolerating to make you happy. For example, a particular show I loved I asked him to watch with me while we were dating. He loved it! Right? Wrong. After we got married, I found out he really doesn't like the show and was watching it to make me happy. I was insulted at first that he pretended to like it... but hey. Cuts both ways I s'pose.

8) Be interested in the things he loves whether you like them or not. My mom told me a long time ago that she hated football when she first got married. But she knew my dad loved it so she tried to be interested in it for his sake. She decided to show him she supported him by learning about one of his favorite pastimes. Lo and behold, she is a rabid football fan and knows the game inside and out now.
    For me... cars. And what do you know? I can spot a Stingray out of a lineup now.

9) Never, ever, ever, ever post issues on Facebook or social media. Ever. The end.

10)
Be his biggest cheerleader. Men glow and thrive off of praise. Never, ever, ever say things that will make him feel self-conscious or embarrassed around others. He will adore you for your support and admiration.

    And I will add one last one because... surprise! The number one relationship in your life is your relationship with God. If that starts to slip, your marriage will follow. Jesus first. Then Him.

    I know most married readers will have more (and better) advice than this. We would love to hear it! Serious, humorous, whatever! Send it our way! If we love it, we'll share it with our followers! Aaaand go!

-Corinna

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    Authors

    Corinna Haller
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    Cherith Plesscher

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